Persons under stress should never leave their chairs for at least eight hours a day and under no circumstance should they run. If, however, they do move, due to excitement, they will spread millions of mites into the atmosphere, you know, those tiny microbes you can only see under a microscope but which live in our clothes.

Every minute, every person under stress loses around two thousand fragments of dry skin, four hundred microscopic creatures that live in our hair and around ten types of foot fungi. Due to excitement, persons under stress breathe out twice the normal quantity of carbon dioxide and release three times more jets of methane and sulphur hydrogen bubbles.

Persons under stress release two to three drops of saliva every word. In two hours, they release fifteen thousand saliva drops per person and these drops can float for up to two hours until they reach carpets or furniture. If the stressed victim sneezes, it just means they released more than a million drops of saliva into the air.

Adverse reactions: coughing, rashes, sore throat, frequent urination, pre-menstrual syndrome, constipation, agitation and crotch area sweat.